Rocky Mountain Blizzard with Syncros Powerlight fork and stem. Also noteworthy are the severed shift and brake cables. Tres tragique, n'est-ce pas?
Riding a sketchy fork with a reputation for catastrophic failure is why chicks dig you! Well, that and the scars. Shred on, brah!
Placing a tie on your crappy old mixtie isn't fooling anyone. We know you're trying hard for the pun, but spare us.
Maybe you could weave it into some polyester bar tape and post it on Pinterest.